We need to have security, with others first, not ourselves. This is how we were all first introduced to the idea of security. This is also how we learn anything at all. I understand that this is not a popular concept, in our individualistic, somewhat self-centered, self-sufficient culture here in the US. And, this notion of having security with others is the way that it is. It is how we all learn. We learn from other people, through observing and doing what others do (for better or worse). We have great need for safe people, not safe spaces. For the most part, a safe person can make any space safe. Through this, these wonderful, safe people teach us how to help others feel and be safe.